omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Randomize
