you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
