Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
