do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
