i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
