i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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