JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Randomize
