can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize
