You can't special order awesome
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
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