I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
