Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
