ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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