Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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