I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
We need to get me chipped asap
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
