I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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