your thong is hanging out like whoa
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
