Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Randomize
