i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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