i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
