Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
