You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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