How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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