Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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