i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
