yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
