I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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