$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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