opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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