wrigley field is MILF paradise
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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