I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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