i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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