Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
