So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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