I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
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