5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
