Cold hands, warm shart.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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