i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
