You really coming over, don't trick.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Randomize
