I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Randomize
