Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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