Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
