what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
