even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
