She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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