Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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