in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
