I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
