she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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