We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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