and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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