apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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