My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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