rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
