New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
