we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
