I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
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