I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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