But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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