I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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