question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Randomize
