when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize