Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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