so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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