I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Never let your siblings swipe right.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
