He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize